It all started on Monday when I was pity about the closing down of a Wellcome supermarket store near home. It was a "sign". That night I read about the news on Lehman Brothers; then Merrill Lynch, next day AIG and more. The last two days was packed with news about credit crunch in the states and around the world. The biggest names that you always have confidence on is actually tearing up everyone 's faith. It does feel like "end of world" coming. The meaning of financial security comes with alot of question marks and the market sentiment now fills with uncertainty. For an average guy, a wage-maker, I inevitably have some doubt for my own employer. Let's hope things are getting under control.
At some point I find it difficult to keep putting up with my work. Whenever I feel frustrated, the immediate thought would be to quit. But funny thing is, every time there is opening for me to consider, my hesitation also starts to build as whether it is worth a try. I guess being single, money could still be somewhat second important. The pressure is to figure out how my career path will develop and where I am getting. What would happen if I don't survive the change? Will there be a way for U-turn just in case? Choosing a company could be as tough as just choosing the right position. Sometimes prospect of the job becomes more important than the pay. And will the occupation still prevail over time? My sense of security is weakened and at some point it really drive me nut. At time I feel that happiness or job satisfaction could be relatively trivial. The issue is to survive and make it thru.
今年已過了大半..一直在逃避著一些事情..也想不到情緒會持續低落..這些日子..也不知怎樣去面對周圍..人好像活在重重的困局裡..面前的路舉步為艱..很想有一個解決..有時心裡頭有種很重的壓迫..快樂的感覺已經變得很陌生了..我也不敢想像將來的路..不敢想像黑暗盡頭還會否真有曙光.. 只怕無法再有這種情懷 優美得共你同時在這世界 醜惡在於..赤子的胸懷 難敵這紛擾世態..為理想或求生在捱 沒完沒了各有需要把青春賤賣 漸行漸遠每天很快淡出得更快 這宇宙太大..握手將要安排 原諒我悲觀過界 但血啃在喉中..不吐不快... (摘自: 不吐不快)